“A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world”
-Oscar Wilde

The world is so fine when you’re young, it makes you think it will go on forever, then you grow up and find out that everything has an end..

At times i wish that someone should have published a book named “A Complete Dummy’s Book On How To Live Life and Avoid Pain and Failures” but then that would make my journey less interesting. For had i not crossed the bridges of sorrow and failure, had i not known the beauty of loving and being loved, had i not reached my threshold of pain, i would not be able to sit here right now and say that my life with all its twists and turns was somehow worth living.

I made my choices, and some were outright insane and stupid and led me to paths of oblivion, but somehow, amidst the sound of shattering glass in the background and the spiteful glances of snakes hiding beneath the tall blades of grass, I have no regrets. There should be no regrets in life, as long as you acted out according to your passions,.. another twisted philosophy I picked up from someone.

Somewhere along the road I lost myself, I forgot which fork or path I chose. I barely recall how I even got here in the first place. If I try to retrace my steps, I know I’ll be more lost than I am right now. And the past, when I look back at it, haunts me like a ghost refusing to die and stay dead.

I’m back here at the crossroads of my life, remembering things I wish I could bury or just throw away into the sea. Because pain is not the worst thing in life, they say, forgetting is. And as I try to recall each fragment of memory, I hope that I can make sense to this madness called life that I’ve gotten myself lost in.

This is my journey, every stop and stumble, every joy and sorrow are chronicled in these pages. All the laughter and tears and all the things in between are part of what makes every step of it as wonderful as falling from a building 400 stories high.

If you get lost or if you cannot understand the meanings between the lines, don’t worry too much. I am not seeking to be understood, nor to convert you to my cause, I don’t even have one,

So sit back.. keep your eyes closed, but your heart open.. this is the crossroads, you can always choose to go back, or if you’re brave enough, you can discover the secret places in your heart that you never even knew existed… till now…

“Still at times I wish, when I am all alone, that somehow you’ll think of me, by the light of the moon”
– from a poem

so many thoughts enter my mind as the sun starts to set to give way to the rising moon. thoughts of the day that has passed by, thoughts of the years that has gone by, and thoughts of the future to come. with these thoughts come a rush of other memories, of people and places and events that has once been the present to me. now they all belong to that unreachable alley in my mind.

as i gaze at the moon, i recall how it witnessed my life in silence. as a child, i remember how i used to run away and hide behind the trees, hoping that i could escape its radiance. yet, i never did outsmart that one big eye in the sky. wherever i went, it followed. it comforted me when i wept in defeat and rejoiced with me when i laughed in triumph. at times when i feel depressed and alone, i just sit outside with the company of the moon and somehow i know that i could make it through the next sunset, and i could see it again and bask in its moonbeams.

there were times when i did not see it appear in the night sky, and during these times, i wonder if someone else in another part of the world cares like i do on whether or not the moon is there, and grieves the way i do whenever i don’t see it. i sleep with a smile thinking that if i meet a person like that, i would have found a true friend, for even though we are separated by miles or oceans, the moon will be our guiding light that would link us to each other forever…