Author Archives: poeticnook

girl interrupted

Posted on by

“we all need to be a little crazy to be sane.”

while helping my cousin do her apa formatted paper, we caught this rerun on ctv. i remember this movie was my favorite back in college. the characters are very much like the people i met and hanged out with back then. yeah we were all crazy and inebriated. angsty and immature. thinking we could change the world but the world changed us. softened our souls, hardened our hearts.

ambivalent. that’s how i feel right now. torn by two strong forces into opposite directions. which path to choose? which fork to take? hmm, tough times ahead. especially when my bank accounts are not cooperating.

i wish time would give me a day to go back to that one moment. i miss the feeling of being carefree and irresponsible. just throwing caution to the wind and going to where the wind blows. there’s too much at stake now, i can’t slack off. the world is waiting.

nothing ever moves without being pushed

Posted on by

finally i’ve decided to stop rattling the skeletons in my closet and just let them go. i don’t have the time nor the energy to pull floating bodies from the mud that they chose to immerse themselves in. i can only repeat myself as much as the next person, i don’t have unlimited patience, optimism is not my middle name, i am fallible. and yet, despite these faults, i know when its time to move on.

i’m just tired of making people see beyond their own little bubble. i get too involved in their problems that i forget i have issues of my own to take care of.

so today, i decided it’s time i start rearranging the way i live my life and cross out the things that ceased to become possibilities for me and just focus on the ones that are more likely to be reality.

1. i won’t be an astronaut, okay i’ve had this dream since i was 4 when i first watched the lunar landing on our monochrome tv, but now that i’m finally going to visit NASA this weekend, i realized i’ll never be one of them. i don’t know the difference between polymer synthesis and olefin metathesis reaction; neither do i care. anyway, i can still go on a space shuttle as a tourist like that guy who made ubuntu. hooray computer geeks!

2. our project is not gonna make it for october release, no matter how long i stay at work trying to fix all the environment issues and trace where the messages are getting lost. that’s actually good, i can sleep for more than 4 hours now. its going in on the first week of november anyway, so it won’t jeopardize my travel plans.

3. some people are never gonna love me the way i want them to. might as well let them be. there might be someone better out there for me, someone to say hi to late at night, someone to watch over me, or if not, life goes on. not my loss.

chicago

Posted on by

last weekend we had a major production release at work, but since my project wasnt due til october, i escaped and jumped on the first plane out of town. destination: chicago.

on the way to o’hare, i had a brief stopover at mccarran, i was surprised to see slot machines scattered around the waiting lounges, i must admit, it distracted me from finding the next boarding gate hehe. another surprising thing i discovered is that our mike phones still work outside the country; that means i’m still reachable by the office.

first thing i did when i arrived at my friend’s place was to unlock my new iphone which was delivered earlier that week. of course after making it work, i was all set to explore all the places i saw on the movies ^_^.

i feasted my eyes on the breath taking architectural highlights of the city, went on a speed boat ride along lake michigan, and a shopping spree at the magnificent mile; met up with old friends and had a great time sampling the godiva cheesecake; climbed the tall towers and tried my hand on window washing at hancock. rode the double decker bus and got lost at union station; watched the giant pixelated faces spurt water at millenium park and saw the skyline reflecting on the bean; craned my neck watching the bears game from afar and the cranberries in the celtic festival at grant park; my favorite building has got to be the chicago tribune, i love its spires and i went around it looking for the pieces of rocks from different parts of the world. i found the one from fort santiago. =) my trip was too short, i need to return so i could see shedd and adler and wicker, and of course, try the nightlife.. hmm, when’s the next release?

going back, i had a connecting flight in seattle and went aboard the smallest aircraft i ever hopped on. it consisted of two cramped seats on each side, and around 30 rows i guess, with propellers on its wings. good thing i’m still in one piece.

next stop: dallas.

in pursuit of happiness

Posted on by

two weeks ago i was chatting with someone who used to be my friend and he said that he wanted to be happy, and that for him meant he had to find the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with. i am insensitively bitter or immune to those things so i told him that happiness is overrated, we all do what we can and it has to be good enough, if it isn’t good enough then it has to do. i mean really, what percentage of the world’s population is actually “happy”. it’s so subjective and fleeting, i can go hug my iPhone and say “wee, i’m happy” and then suddenly weep coz i don’t have it with me right now, or i could eat my favorite ice cream and sigh “happiness in a cup, at last” then whine about all the calories i would have to burn afterwards. it’s absurd to be dependent on others for your own peace of mind. i remember some years ago when i asked that same question to a friend “are you happy?”, and i got this reply: “just contented”. maybe that’s the key – to be contented with what we have but then again i don’t think man was ever created to be content, otherwise we would have not invented the wheel or the microwave. there’s always room to innovate even if everything is working just fine. we are always in search of something better, something more meaningful, a purpose, a reason..

so today i sent this message to yet another friend “life is sad”, only because i’m like a sponge that absorbs all the negative energy around me, and when my cup overflows, i would need someone to remind me of my own words in the first place. he retorted that just days ago i was doing great and loving life then he asked what was bothering me. i couldn’t really say anything. for me, everything is a choice. i could choose to lament all the woes of my life and enumerate every reason i should be grieving but then where would that lead me? pumped up with tequila or contemplating to jump off the roof which is plain silly – i’m done with being angsty, it used to be fahionable in college, to wear your heart out on a sleeve and be an idealist who marches on the streets wanting the world to listen. the world is deaf, its a body of mass revolving around the sun. it is numb and neither will it stop turning when you fall down and hurt yourself. you will have to be strong enough to dust yourself, step back into it and get lost in its blinding speed.

life is too short to waste on melodrama, there’s the tv for that, for everything else there’s mastercard haha

on the long road to calgary

Posted on by

went to alberta for the labor day weekend, it was a gruelling 12 hour ride! visited the rockies, the town of banff, had a glimpse of the breathtaking lakes – louise, peyto, and maligne. rode the ice explorer and trekked on the icefields, had a tour of calgary, spent the night at jasper, rediscovered the dinosaur ruins at drumheller, and finally on the way back to bc, we visited the okanagan region and sampled the wineries of kelowna. we skipped
the stops were pure nature overload. can’t help but be awed by the vastness of canada’s land area. it’s a good thing the weather cooperated to make the long weekend more enjoyable. the 3 days, 4 nights trip was well worth it despite being sleep deprived and broke afterwards. ^_^

next stop: vancouver island

the other side of things

Posted on by

this morning, a bunch of moon beings gathered to witness the total solar eclipse. like last time, they prepared anti uv coated scopes as they waited for the shadow of the earth to obliterate the sun from their view. this eclipse is said to be the longest one ever, lasting for more than 1 and a half decan star.

revelries were at hand as a lot of myths and traditions are recollected. it was said that during this time, the moon looks blood red from the earth, and humans in different parts of the planet do weird things. it is believed that the moon has a great effect on this planet and its people, however moon beings neither notice nor care about it.

the next tse is predicted to happen 177 solar days from now.

jetlag

Posted on by

in 10 days, i visited 6 cities – seattle, hong kong, manila, cebu, bohol and seoul. now i’m back in vancouver and my week long vacation feels so many miles away. i slept for an entire day and tomorrow i’ll be back to work, as if nothing happened, the only souvenir i got are sunburn marks and eyebags.

sometimes i wish i could take people back with me but then that would defeat the purpose of travelling, for the only reason i leave a place is to come home to it again =) i miss my mom, my dad, my brothers, my friends, my dogs, but most of all, i miss being missed, and hugged and loved by the people who matter to me, i miss my favorite pup running out to greet me, i miss my mom’s cooking, i miss the sun and the beach, i miss everything that can only be captured by still photographs.

if only time and distance can be folded, then everything won’t be too far from my reach. for now, i have to tuck my heart and fake a smile, life is a journey, we can only stop for a while to catch our breath, and then we’re off again.

moleskine

Posted on by

okay, so what’s the hype with this notebook? they said this was the legendary oil skinned acid free stitched paper that hemmingway and picasso used, so what? will this make me a better writer or painter?

i don’t know, but i got one anyway, don’t take chances, right? haha ^_^ nah curiosity just got the better of me and i just had to have one, now all i need is my trusty staedtler hb and i’m all set to write the greatest event of my life.

whatever. moving on..

freeze framed monotones

Posted on by

as usual, just like every time i get a new toy, i become this sleep deprived gadget obsessed tech junkie who can’t really call it a day till i take apart everything and put them back together in the same order. i guess i just like testing the capabilities and limits of the current apple of my eye. anyway, it’s about as functional as can be, i like the fact that there’s free wifi everywhere, and i can just take snap shots of moments that captures my interest and upload them in real time.

so here’s my new photo blog.