just finished filling my light suitcase with clothes that i’ll be bringing to fabulous las vegas. weather forecast is sunny all weekend, a positive sign for the grand canyon tour. good thing the stagehand strike in NY didn’t reach LV or else the phantom tickets would go to waste.
passport, check. shades, check. vaio, check. moleskine, check. that’s it, i’m ready to go. it’s always easier to travel light. gives me more space for souvenirs on the way home =)
today my bond ends and i am free. that calls for a celebration, i will talk only of good things like getting that coveted qa sign off on a defect fix that has been on hold for the past four months, or the coming LV trip this weekend, i will skip the ugly parts and fast forward to the good times.
life is full of surprises, and “great opportunites brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems”. it’s lame to focus too much on the downside of things, “we are never given a problem without also being given the power to solve it”. so for tonight, i will get drunk on motivational quotes and sleep tight without worries.
“nothing is ever lost, nothing that can’t be found.”
where: Silver City, Metropolis
when: Tuesday, 13 November 2007. 7:00 p.m.
is a propaganda movie against war and craftily intended for american audiences. watched this movie today and i got lost in all the political jargon. i guess this is a timely movie for remembrance day, watching idealistic young people march blindly as soldiers fighting for their country. but fighting for what? the reasons get lost in translation.
yesterday was remembrance day here. there were lots of activites lined up to commemorate the sacrifices of all those who went to war. i missed everything because i was out town. a friend told me a story about a poem that became popular after the first world war, this is usually recited during remembrance day / veterans day / poppy day / armstice day. whichever country you’re in. poppies are those red flowers that grew in the graves of the casualties of war, this has become the symbol for this memorial.
i never really understood why people go to war in the first place..
in flanders fields the poppies blow
between the crosses, row on row,
that mark our place; and in the sky
the larks, still bravely singing, fly
scarce heard amid the guns below.
we are the Dead. Short days ago
we lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
loved, and were loved, and now we lie
in flanders fields.
take up our quarrel with the foe:
to you from failing hands we throw
the torch; be yours to hold it high.
if ye break faith with us who die
we shall not sleep, though poppies grow
in Flanders fields.
— John McCrae
was planning to catch up on my sleep today but went to seattle instead at the spur of the moment just to hitch a ride with friends who wanted to shop for gifts. we found a great sushi place just beside alderwood mall right after we had lunch at the food court, how ironic. hope i can go there next time, it has kaiten sushi – sushi that goes around a conveyor belt and you just pick whatever you like as they move towards you. i tried it back in fukuoka and each plate was about Y100 then, i also saw something like that in greenhills, forgot the name of the place, it had a giant octopus as a mascot. oh well, it’s just the novelty of the kaiten that attracted me, but for nihon ryori cravings, there’s always kingsway sushi across work and fish on rice a few blocks away to satisfy my palate.
activated two iphones bought by a friend while strolling along the outlet malls, failed to buy anything, not even a shirt, for myself. maybe that’s why i felt a bit dejected when we were on the way home.
we almost called it a day after all the shopping they did, but the casino beside the premium outlets looked too inviting to pass up. we went in and tried our luck. i took out the last bills on my wallet which was $7 and played the slots. won a whopping $23, high stakes! haha. at least i got something out of this trip ^_^
slept at 5am this morning trying to make the motion eye work, finally saw it in action but only in the default configuration of win98. i’m almost about to give up finding drivers on 2k and xp, especially since i have no time for this hobby anymore, work is piling up even on my weekends. qa is emailing me about some ip testing and more trips coming up on the next two weekends of november.
big brown box got picked up at around 10am, so i had 5 hours of sleep at least. i started the day by preparing breakfast and lunch which i didn’t really have much enthusiasm to eat because i was too engrossed with configurations and being online tech support to a friend who wanted to backup and update her ipod. by past noon i got an invitation to attend a birthday party but i got stood up by the person who was supposed to go with me, she had a good excuse though – a splitting headache. anyways, decided not to go too. was too lazy to go out on a cold day and walk by myself to some place i forgot how to reach.
discussed other career options with my aunt and uncle and had a talk with my mom. should probably find time to update my resume, it’s gathering dust somewhere.
the box i’ll be sending home is sealed at last. had a hard time with the packing tape since i’m temporarily disabled, but with my expertise, it’s now mummified, i hope it holds though.. manila cargo is picking it up tomorrow. the cost of shipping it is actually more than the total insured cost of what’s inside which is $100 – what a rip off! that’s highway robbery. now i’m having seconds thoughts on sending it..
managed to dual boot my c1x, it’s now running on win2k and xp, not surprisingly, the older win version runs faster, now if i can only find the drivers to make the motion eye work.. why can’t they make powerful laptops this small? i hope apple offers one soon, i’ll be first in line to get it.
i don’t know if its the fever meds i took or the chicken i ate earlier today but my fingers are swollen, like twice the normal size! tsk tsk i’m turning into a mutant, where’s my claritin!?
woke up today with a sickness at the back of my head so i laid in bed to keep the room from turning. called work to say i’d be missing work and work called about the orders building up in the error queue again, gave the go ahead to redeploy the application, took some meds and drowned in dreamless sleep.
when i looked out the window, i saw tiny rain drops from the endless grey clouds above and a car covered with orange leaves that has managed to invade the rest of our front lawn – the nuances of fall, that reminded me of the wilted white tulips on the table, remnants of a day that paled in comparison to all the other years. i took two pages from yesterday’s newspaper and wrapped them carefully, paying a quick homage to still life and all things ephemeral.
took another dose of pain killers wanting to numb every nerve ending, needing to be as empty as my heart right now. after a while, feeling light headed, i opened itunes and played crosby, stills, nash and young’s “our house”.
sum 41 is reminiscent of green day and simple plan and all those angsty bands that sound like teenagers rebelling against their parents. once in a while though, you’ll find a song you can totally relate to even if the last time you were a teen was 8 years ago or you can’t remember when you ever felt angsty at all. it would be no surprise if you find their songs serenading teen series like smallville, the oc, one tree hill or gossip girl – that’s where i first heard my new favorite song – “with me”. yep i have a lot of favorite songs, it’s an entire playlist on it’s own on my ipod.
last night i loaded the whole album and listened to it on endless repeat while i was reinstalling my c1x (can’t get used to the 1028×480 resolution). i found a hidden track that started after two minutes of silence – it was slow, almost a pause or a whisper compared to all the rage of the other tracks, it gives you time to catch your breath and stop being angry for a while.
look at me
who am i supposed to be and what do i believe
can you tell me, since you’ve made up your mind
and knows what you believe
and i just don’t know
i just don’t know
who i’m supposed to be
look at me
am i the image of your hopes and tragedies
just look at me
will i ever be more than just a memory?
because you just don’t know
but you just don’t know
all i am is me
everybody is replaceable, once again that message was sent loud and clear in our company orientation this morning. it’s either you sign up or you go home. plain black and white, no greys in between. well if i were back in my hometown, i could easily say no and go find something else which appreciates me more. better yet, i would take a month’s vacation and just tour the islands. it doesn’t take much to enjoy life in our country. but i’m here, i’m stuck in the middle of nowhere, and if i say no, it would be like pulling the rug from under my feet. i’ve made no plans, no other choices lined up for the picking. should have anticipated this earlier but deliverables and commitments got in the way and shopping for a new job took a backseat. now it’s like being pushed to the corner. what kind of new company would woo their potential employees with blackmail brilliantly disguise as a contract. who in their right mind would sign something that offers less than what you currently have? it’s not like everyone’s a dime a dozen. i think i deserve a little more respect.
tip, go shove your papers up your spine. i won’t bite the bullet. i prefer to be part of an organization that makes me feel needed and appreciated. i won’t settle for anything less