when life hands you a lemonade

People get hooked to a lot of things – drugs, alcohol, religion, work, games, sports. gadgets, food, people, feelings.. Often the main reason why we get addicted to something is because of the sensation it gives us – it makes us feel good about ourselves or the environment around us. It temporarily allows an escape from more pressing problems that need attention. Sometimes it’s all about boredom, idle hands are the devil’s workshop. We get sucked into the black hole because there is nothing constructive or creative that keeps us preoccupied.

The reason why some are more susceptible to addiction than others could be explained in many ways, depending on one’s belief system. Scientists would say that it could be a neuro-chemical condition or genetic predisposition. Moralists would argue that this is all because of human weakness and defects of character. Treatment varies depending on what you want to accept as the cause. It could be psychotherapy, medicine, rehabilitation, support group, religion – the list is too long to enumerate in this page.

In my own bubble, I believe that psychological and physical dependency on anything else other than active chemical substances that alter the brain processes is a personal choice, a phase you can easily get in and out of – a switch you can turn off anytime when you have mustered enough courage to do so. I don’t even think addiction is any different from habit.

You wake up and do the exact routine day after day but that does not necessarily mean you are hopelessly hooked to it and can’t break away and would be somehow impaired if you deviate from the path once in a while. The fact that people have this innate need to organize things and create some semblance of structure in their lives amidst the chaos of everyday living is not a bad thing. However, all things extreme is not good, everything should be in moderation.

And so after this long winding unsolicited selfish insight about addiction, I am slowly coming to terms with my own. It’s been a while since I actually slept for more than 3 hours. It used to be because of work, or some gadget I just needed to figure out and then too much thinking about things I have no control over. It’s not even anything specific, I just think too much.

I feel that I need to acquire new learning and have more challenges. I am bored out of my wits and technology is not that interesting to me anymore. Travel poses a distraction but I don’t really see any new landscape these days. New people are always engaging – picking their brains and dissecting how their hearts work is surely a time consuming activity . But in the end of it all I have nothing to really fill my restless hours – this is how it is when I’m not engrossed in anything. I have too much time, too much time to think and do crazy things.

I need a new hobby.

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