Past Tense

“But don’t look back in anger, I heard you say”

Time makes memories hazy and fragile and cruel. Sometimes it even exposes things you’ve overlooked that were always hiding in plain sight. Then again, it’s not often that a blast from the past comes strolling by your present and totally changes everything you thought you once knew and held as true. 

Today a forgotten dream knocked on my door in broad daylight and I was reminded that what I thought I just imagined was actually a previous reality that I have lived through. It seems bizarre to even think there was a different life before the now and another place aside from here but that’s what time and distance do – they play tricks on us until everything just melts into a big pot of beautifully distorted colors that only our hearts can see through.

There was a yesterday when no matter how tightly I shut my eyes and how much I covered my ears, I could still see and hear all the things that hurt me, I felt too much then but the scars are faint now and I’ve come a long way from that dark place. The torments are few and far between. 

While it’s easy to just pretend it didn’t happen, it’s hard to ignore the lessons we’ve learned from every fall and stumble along the way. So rather than sweeping the dust under the rug like we always do, let’s clean up after ourselves and just admit, that once upon a time we brightened the night sky like we were daylight, and for a brief moment we thought we could fly, but as most fireballs do, we crashed and burned to the ground.

We lost pieces of our old selves that day but new things grew back to take their place. And even though these patched up parts don’t quite fit, we make do and we carry on. 

I carry on.

“I can feel it comin’ back again like a rollin’ thunder chasing the wind, forces pullin’ from the center of the earth again”

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